Fox Valley Institute believes that education is important for one's personal growth. Below you will find a list of articles that we have compiled or have been written by Dr. Laura Bokar.
Everyone feels sad from time to time. It’s only natural. Most people go through blue days or just periods of feeling down, especially after they experience a loss. But what experts call clinical depression is different from just being “down in the dumps.” The main difference is that the sad or empty mood does not go away after a couple of weeks – and everyday activities like eating, sleeping, socializing, or working can be affected.
The incidence of depression in our society seems to be on the rise. Recent estimates suggest that as many as one in three of us will experience some form of depression within our lifetimes. Others claim that depression may even represent a symptom of our times which are characterized by alienation, lack of strong community bonds, and hopeless economic situations for many.
If you determine that your responses to the daily stressors present in your life have become problematic, fortunately, therapy has proven to be a very effective way to address this issue.
About a quarter of American adults suffer from some type of mental health problem each year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, and 6 percent suffer severe ailments, like schizophrenia or major depression. When left untreated, mental health illnesses are more likely to lead to hospitalization — something that could mean time lost from work.
If you and your spouse write down how a quarrel looked to you after the anger has dissipated, chances are your transcripts will read like this. A good way to diffuse arguments can be to try seeing things from your partner’s point of view. The problem is that in the heat of the moment, it’s often hard to see things clearly.
Become a student of your spouse. Learn what your partner likes and dislikes. Try to understand his or her unique personality, needs and desires. One book I suggest to help you better understand your spouse is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It explains how to communicate your love depending on your spouse’s love language.
Enforcing the rules can be hard sometimes. Again allow your teen to help you police the rules. They can be very creative. I heard of one mother who wanted her son home early one night because she wanted to get to sleep early. Because his curfew was longer, the teen created a mutually agreeable solution. He put his alarm clock outside of his parents door and set it for his curfew.
It’s important that if you want someone to stop doing something you replace it with something else. And you need to be clear on your expectations. Change is hard enough. But not understanding what the other person wants can make things even harder.
As playwright Oscar Wilde said: “A true friend stabs you in the front.” Sometimes it’s not what’s done to our face, but what happens behind our back that hurts most.
Often the biggest reason a goal isn’t achieved is that it isn’t detailed enough. For instance “I want to spend more time with my kids,” lacks specificity. How much time? Where? Doing what? When? I suggest you write down your goals and refer back to them regularly.
You’re not alone. ‘Tis the season to be stressed out.
The major cause of holiday stress is expectations. Those expectations usually revolve around family and financial issues. And to top it off, time crunches often bring the stress to the surface.
Of course you want to treat your children fairly, but because kids are different you’ll find you won’t be able to treat them all the same. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them equally. But you may have to structure things a little differently for each child.
Quality time can only come after quantity of time. You need to spend a quantity of time together to build the quality of your family relationship. When there’s a sudden problem or crisis, it’s this time together that will give you the foundation you need.
Couples fight. It's normal, healthy and natural. In fact, if a couple says they never fight it worries me more than hearing they have an occasional argument. Because if they're not disagreeing once in a while, it means they're probably holding in a lot of resentment. Couples fight because they're human.
Some men who want to be helpful just jump in and end up getting in the way. It's a better idea for a man to ask what he can do. Chances are his assistance will be more on-target and more appreciated if he just gets direction.
And even better than reminding his wife to make time for herself, he can help her make time. He can offer to watch the kids while your she jumps on the treadmill or runs out shopping with a friend. Surely, she'll return the favor.