Helping Your Child Make Friends: When Social Skills Need a Boost

Few things tug at a parent's heart like hearing "Nobody wants to play with me." Some kids make friends easily. Others need a little more help learning how to join in, read the room and bounce back from a rough moment. The good news is that social skills can be learned, just like reading or riding a bike. Here's how to spot when your child is struggling and what can help.

Signs your child may need a hand

• They have a hard time joining a game or conversation
• They often seem to miss social cues, like when a friend is bored or upset
• They have few friends, or friendships don't seem to last
• They come home upset after school or recess most days
• They pull away from other kids or avoid activities they used to enjoy
• They're being picked on, or they're the one picking on others

Simple ways to help at home

• Practice at the dinner table. Take turns asking and answering questions. It builds the back-and-forth of real conversation.
• Set up small playdates. One friend at a time, with a simple activity, is easier than a big group.
• Talk through tricky moments. Ask, "What do you think your friend was feeling?" and brainstorm what to try next time.
• Notice what goes right. Praise effort, like asking to join a game, not just the result.
• Find their people. Clubs, sports, music or art can connect kids who share an interest.

When counseling makes sense

If things haven't improved after a few months, or your child seems lonely, anxious or down, a therapist can help. At Fox Valley Institute, child and teen counseling uses age-appropriate methods. For younger kids that often means play therapy, which uses games, drawing and toys to practice real-life skills in a way that feels natural. Older kids and teens may work on things like starting conversations, handling conflict and managing worry about what others think.

Parents are part of the process. For children 12 and under, the therapist meets with parents first, and you'll get ideas to support the work at home. When the whole household could use support, family therapy is also available.

When there's more to the story

Sometimes social struggles are tied to anxiety, ADHD or autism. If you're wondering about that, Fox Valley Institute offers psychological testing for children in person at our Naperville office. A clear answer can point everyone toward the right kind of help.

Appointments that fit family life

Counseling for children and teens takes place in person at our Naperville office, with after-school and weekend appointments available.

Frequently asked questions

Is my child just shy, or is it something more?
Plenty of kids are shy and still make friends. If your child seems lonely, upset after school or stuck in the same social problems for months, it's worth talking to someone.

What ages do you work with?
Fox Valley Institute works with children and teens. For children 12 and under, the therapist meets with parents first.

Can my child be seen by telehealth?
Counseling for children and teens takes place in person at our Naperville office. We offer after-school and weekend appointments.

What if I think ADHD or autism is part of the picture?
Fox Valley Institute offers psychological testing for children, including for ADHD and autism, in person at our Naperville office.

Let's talk

Call us at (630) 718-0717 or send us a text through our website. Tell us what you've noticed, and our intake coordinators will check your insurance and match your child with a therapist who fits. Your child will stay with that same therapist the whole way through.