The Dream of a Family: Coping With Infertility

Infertility is very stressful in many ways. According to The National Infertility Association, women with infertility have the same levels of anxiety and depression as do women with cancer, heart disease and HIV. Infertility can also be a very lonely process, especially when you feel like those around are able to conceive quickly and easily. The stress of infertility can impact every area of your life, your relationship with your partner, your job, your relationships with friends and family and even your spirituality. Combined with the blame and societal pressure to get pregnant, it is no wonder why this journey can create such turmoil for a person.

When do you know it is time to seek professional help? The experience of infertility can cause pain and grief either acute or prolonged depending on diagnosis. Infertility can be a time in which a multitude of emotions are experienced at varying levels of degree and severity including anger, jealousy or sadness. It can also bring about struggles with self-esteem or identity. Infertility is a couple’s experience and each partner may respond differently. This can sometimes bring couples closer together or create strain on the relationship.

If you are concerned that your emotional response to the pain of infertility is beyond what you can manage, you may want to consider meeting with a therapist to help you through your journey.

In the United States there are currently three psychological methods for individuals and couples experiencing infertility; (1) individual/couple’s therapy (2) support groups (3) mind/body groups.

Infertility counseling can help you:

• Gather information and making decisions about treatment
• Cope with medical/surgical treatments
• Cope with the emotional responses to infertility
• Manage any pre-existing mental health problems
• Improve relationships
• Manage stress, anxiety and depression
• Improve communication with friends and extended family
• Grieve the losses that accompany infertility

Infertility counseling can help you and your partner:

• Improve communication
• Navigate decisions regarding medical treatment and how to build your family
• Improve closeness with one another
• Learn to support one another and meet each other’s unique needs during this time

Support groups can help you:

• Reduce the feelings of isolation you may experience
• Gain support from others going through a similar struggle
• Learn coping mechanisms

Mind/Body Groups will teach you:

• Behavioral techniques for coping with stress and anxiety
• Cognitive techniques to re-frame negative thoughts and beliefs that have developed
• Help you build skills to feel like yourself again

You do not have to go through this journey alone. Do not be afraid to seek out help and find the healing you deserve.

Reference

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association; www.resolve.org

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to feel depressed or anxious during infertility?

Yes. Infertility often brings grief, anxiety, guilt and a sense of loss of control. These feelings are a common response to a painful and uncertain experience, not a sign that you are handling it poorly.

How can infertility affect a relationship?

Partners may cope differently, disagree about treatment or money, or feel pressure around intimacy. Talking openly about each person's feelings and decisions, and getting support together, can help keep the relationship strong.

When should I seek counseling for infertility stress?

Consider counseling if sadness or worry is affecting your sleep, work, relationships or daily life, if you feel isolated, or if decisions about treatment feel overwhelming. You do not need to wait until you are in crisis.

What does infertility counseling help with?

Counseling offers a space to process grief and stress, learn coping skills, communicate with your partner, and think through decisions about treatment, donor options, adoption or choosing to stop treatment.

How do I get support from Fox Valley Institute?

Our therapists work with individuals and couples facing infertility, in our Naperville office or by telehealth across Illinois. Call (630) 718-0717 to be matched with a counselor.